Only Time Will Tell All
by She-Thinks-He's-Foxy
Summary: Rose stands there on the beach. Her Doctor is gone, never to return. Another remains in his place. They share the same face, memories, and quarks. But will Rose ever be able to love him?
1. Chapter 1: Alone Again

Pain.

That's all Rose Tyler could feel as she stood on the beaches of bad wolf bay. The harsh ocean wind stung her face, and tore at her blonde hair.

He had left her. The Doctor had left her. He didn't even say goodbye.

"Rose."

That familiar voice drew her gaze away from where the Tardis had just vanished forever, to the man by her side. His face was the same. His warm brown eyes filled with the knowledge of the universe. His hair. His great hair, messy like always. He was the same man, her Doctor, but not...

"Rose Tyler…," he started, his voice quavering slightly as if he was unsure of the effect his words would have on her, "I will never leave you."

With those words tears began streaming down Rose's pale cheeks. The Doctor lifted his hand and gently brushed them away. He kept his hand cupped on her cheek and looked her in the eyes, those beautiful brown eyes that seemed to almost dare him to surprise her, to show her something new.

"I am the Doctor. I am him Rose. I remember everything," He paused still not sure if his words would hurt or help him regain Roses trust. Being human was already proving to be a hard job, and he had only been human for a few hours. "I know it seems like I am just a fake, a replacement, but the Doctor wanted a life with you Rose. He wanted it so bad. This is our chance to have that. He couldn't bear to lose you again Rose. He couldn't bear to see you hurt by his regeneration, or lose you to old age while he never died". Rose shook her head, tears still streaming down her face.

"He left me. He didn't want me anymore," she sobbed. "I promised I would stay with him forever," she cried, her body shaking with emotion.

"No Rose, I'm still here. I'm right here. We are still together, and we always will be". The Doctor wrapped his arms around Rose and held her close like he always had on their adventures through time and space. Rose continued to cry for several minutes until finally her tears ran out and she felt exhausted. With all of her energy spent, and her sadness expelled she began to relax in the Doctors warm embrace. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his suit jacket. Her breathing began to slow as she enjoyed the familiar feeling she had missed for so long. They stood there clinging to each other, each lost in their own moment of comfort. After some time Rose pulled away and looked him, her Doctor, in the face.

"Your really not leaving my this time right, yeah?" she asked hesitantly. The Doctor flashed her one of his classic smiles and said "Rose Tyler I'm here to stay, just for you".

Rose smiled and took his hand in hers. Together they began walking back to where Jackie Tyler had waited anxiously for them. Jackie, feeling that most of the tension had faded between the pair, began fussing over them asking every possible question in the universe. The Doctor smiled. He secretly missed her fussing and never-ceasing mouth. Though many times Jackie had driven him to the brink of insanity, an impressive task considering how many annoying things he had experienced that hadn't effected him, she had become like his family. Suddenly pain flashed through him and he fell to the sand gasping for air. Everything felt as if it were spinning around him. He could hear Rose screaming his name as she bent down and clutched him in her arms. Donna. Something had happened to Donna. Their connection had been severed. Another spasm of pain ripped through his body. Since he was no longer bonded with her he was feeling the full after effects of a time lords regeneration in a half time lord body. He knew his appearance wouldn't change, but he didn't know if he would survive the effects of the regeneration. His vision began to dim as he fell out of consciousness. No...no not after promising Rose...I don't want to go...

"Mum we have to help," him Rose screamed as she cradled her precious Doctor in her arms. Rose felt tears sliding down her cheeks. This was all so familiar. Images of that fateful Christmas Day when he had fallen sick after his regeneration flashed though her mind. She felt his forehead with trembling hands. His forehead was hot to the touch and covered in sweat. "It's happening again," Rose muttered in quiet shock. "What did you say dear," Jackie asked as she put her hand over her phone. She didn't even let Rose finish before she said "Your fathers on his way sweetie don't worry". For the first time since, she was abandoned in the parallel world, during the attack of the Dalek and Cyberman, Rose Tyler felt powerless. She could do nothing, but hold him in her arms and stroke his hair.

After what felt like ages Pete Tyler finally arrived and helped Rose into the back seat with the Doctor. "Where's the nearest hospital?" Jackie shouted at her husband. "No we can't take him to a hospital!" Rose yelled. Her grip on the Doctor tightened. She couldn't risk it yet. She didn't know if he would be recognized as human or alien. "Home, we are taking him home Mum," she said as calmly as she could. She couldn't stop the slight tremor in her voice as she spoke. Jackie Tyler stared at her daughter for a long moment before finally saying "Oh all right."

Pete drove as fast as he could back to the Tyler home. When they arrived Pete helped carry him in while Rose rummaged through the cabinets looking for anything to reduce fevers. She finally found something and rushed upstairs.

The Doctor lay in her bed covered in blankets. His suit abandoned on the floor and a pair of Pete's old flannel pajamas on instead. Images from Christmas flashed through Rose's mind again. She shook them off and went to sit by his side. His breathing was labored, and his face was flushed with fever. "Doctor can you hear me?" Rose murmured. "Please wake up I have some medicine". No response came. Rose tried shaking him gently hoping he would wake. "Please Doctor," she whispered. "I need you-". Before she could even finish her sentence his eyes fluttered open briefly and he forced himself up to take the medicine. It was all he could manage before he lost consciousness and his head hit the pillow. Rose refused to leave his side for the rest of the night. Jackie came in many times asking her if she needed to rest and offering to stay and watch him instead, but she stubbornly refused to sleep. Guilt coursed through her as the memories of that Christmas all those years ago haunted her. She would make up for that Christmas Day that she had given up on him and left his side while he was sick, she would not make that mistake again. Around 3:30 AM the Doctor sat up quickly in bed gasping for air. Rose jumped out of her seat startled. "Doctor?" she asked tentatively. "Rose...," he said his eyes glazed with pain. "What do you need," she asked taking his hand. "I need..." his voice trailed off as he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer and kissed her. Rose tried to pull away, but his arms held her close as his fevered lips kissed her. When he finally pulled away he studied her face, his eyes full of pain. Before Rose could respond the Doctor fainted again. Rose sat there, in shock, her cheeks burning as she contemplated what had just happened. She hadn't decided how she felt about this Doctor yet. She hadn't decided if he was her Doctor, though she had accepted him when they were on the beach she still wasn't sure if she could have the same romantic relationship her and the Doctor had, and yet he had kissed her so suddenly. The kiss from the beach flashed through her mind and she groaned inwardly at her impulsive actions. She was so desperate for those three words that she had kissed this Doctor, and he had kissed back.

Rose got up and paced around the room in deep thought till the sun began to rise. Checking the Doctors forehead again, she felt that his fever had gone down and decided she could take a short breakfast break. Rose walked quietly downstairs so she wouldn't wake anyone, as she wanted a little more time of piece and quiet before her parents and the baby woke.

~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor stirred as he became aware of Rose walking downstairs. His whole body hurt terribly, as he tried to sit up. He wanted to see Rose, to talk to her. To hear her beautiful voice. Using all of his half time lord will power he pushed the covers off of his aching body and stood up. Walking felt harder then fighting the daleks in the time war as he thought as he drug himself across the room and opened the door. He hadn't seen the Tyler house since he and Rose first set foot in this parallel world. He was surprised to see the interior of the house looked much more, well domestic now. Pictures of the Tyler family hung all down the hall way and walls by the stairs. Many of them included the new edition Tony Tyler, his chubby face lit with a smile in all of them. A few featured Rose too. The Doctor leaned heavily against the hall wall as he studied her face in a particular photo. Rose was standing on the beach looking out towards the horizon where the sea meets the sky. Her eyes looked tired and had dark circles under them. The smile plastered on Roses face was clearly forced too. The Doctor felt his heart ache as he continued looking at his precious Rose in such a tortured state. Not able to bear it anymore he continued walking down the hall way to the stair ignoring the other pictures of the wall. He didn't want to see Rose sad anymore. It hurt him too much. He continued down the grand stairs, still leaning heavily on things. The Doctor knew it was risky to be up and about this soon after the attack on the beach, but he needed to know that everything between him and Rose was ok. She hadn't seemed a hundred percent sure on the beach that she trusted him, but they had begun to take steps in the right direction and that was enough for him. The idea of settling down and leading a normal life still terrified him, but if that was what Rose needed him to be then he would happily settle down and get a mortgage. As he reached the bottom of the stairs Rose came into the foyer. She froze when she saw The Doctor standing there his face haggard, but smiling non the less. There was pain in his eyes as gripped the rail tight, his hands turning white from the force of his grip. "

"Rose!" he exclaimed giving her his classic smile. Rose smiled slightly but her eyes betrayed her uncertainty.

"Y-you shouldn't really be out of bed yet Doctor," she replied shifting her feet awkwardly as she stared at him.

"Well I couldn't sleep so I thought I would get something to eat maybe," he said walking toward Rose and taking her hand. "Don't touch me," Rose murmured as she pulled her hand away from his and took a few steps back. The Doctor flinched, stung by her words. "Rose I thought-," he started, but she didn't let him finish. "Who do you think you are?" she exclaimed. "You're just a cheap copy! You're not him!" she yelled pushing past him and running up to her room. Moments later the Doctor heard the slam of the door. His heart sunk and he fell to the floor holding his head in his hands. What had he possibly done this time to upset her? Maybe she was right. He was just a fake. He wasn't the real Doctor she loved. How could he ever be?

The Doctor sat on the stairs in more pain then he had ever felt in his life. His body was on fire, and his heart ached. A gentle hand touched his back, and he looked behind him to see Jackie Tyler holding little Tony. Her hand rubbed his back comfortingly. "Just give her time love," she said smiling softly before moving to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~


	2. Chapter 2: Hope

Chapter 2:

Rose lay curled up on her bed. Tears streamed down her face. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be with the Doctor, her Doctor, in the TARDIS, seeing all of time and space. Instead she was stuck here with his reject self. All that time she had spent trying to get back to him, and he just dumped her here. Another sob racked her body as all the memories of their wonderful adventures swirled through her mind. It was all over this time, for good. The most painful question on her mind though was did she even matter to him? At this moment she felt exactly like how Sarah Jane must have felt when the Doctor abandoned her many years ago. She even had her own K-9. She couldn't muffle her sobs, so she let them come. She let the tears, the pain, and the memories drown her. She cried until she ran out of tears, and finally sleep came, taking her away to happier times.

Rose woke around six o'clock in the evening. At some point someone had come in and put a blanket over her. She sat up and tossed the blanket off of her. She felt empty and hollow inside. She sat still for a moment listening for voices in the house. Surprisingly she didn't hear anything. Usually at this time of day mum was taking on the phone loudly with one of her new friends while trying to calm a fussing Tony. Rose didn't want to leave her room for fear of seeing him again, but her stomach hurt from lack of food, and she was curious as to why it was so quiet. She opened the door and crept down the stairs and into the kitchen. The kitchen was also empty and quiet. A small note lay on the counter. Dread filled Rose. Without even looking at the words she knew that something was up. She picked up the note anyway and read through her moms quickly scrawled hand writing.

Rose,

Your dad and I are going to visit some friends for the evening. We are taking Tony with us. We will be back late. The Doctor took some more medicine before we left and should sleep through the night.

-Love Mum.

Rose groaned as she set the note back down on the table. They had left her here on purpose. That's so like mum she though angrily as she crumpled up the paper, threw it away, and walked to the fridge looking for something to eat.

"Rose."

Rose jumped at the sound of her name, and spun around looking for the source of the sound, but no one was there. She could have sworn she heard the Doctor's voice. Pushing that thought to the back of her mind; she pulled an apple out of the fridge and took a bite. She munched on it for a few seconds before deciding she wasn't that hungry. She threw it away and without even thinking she made her way back up the stairs to the spare bedroom where the Doctor was sleeping. As quietly as she could she twisted the knob on the door and gently pushed it open. The room was dark, but she could just make out his sleeping form in the bed. His chest was rising and falling gently. Rose crept over to the bed side, her heart beating fast. "This isn't him," she reminded herself quietly, but she couldn't help reaching up and brushing his messy hair out of his eyes. Her hand lingered there holding his face as she studied him. He was unmistakably identical to her Doctor. He stirred slightly at her touch, and Rose withdrew her hand quickly.

"Rose," he murmured softly, but he didn't wake.

Rose's breath caught in her throat. Had he been dreaming of her? She had often asked the Doctor what he dreamt about, and he had always avoided her questions, as he would start blabbering on about some wonderful place that they would be visiting that day while he fiddled with different switches on the TARDIS control panel. Rose sighed quietly and walked back to the door. Looking back one more time she felt a tug in her hollow chest at the sight of his sleeping form resting peacefully. Turning away she shut the door and walked back to her room, shutting that door too, and creating one more barrier between them.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The next morning Rose woke early, took a shower, and got dressed. She planned to go to Torchwood today and see what had happened since she had used the dimension cannon to travel back to her world. She needed to get away from the house for a while. She hurried down the stairs and out the front door, ignoring her dad as he greeted her. Her car sat in the driveway, and she quickly climbed in and put the keys in the ignition, starting the engine.

Rose breathed out a sigh as she entered the familiar building. She had spent so much time here after that awful day at Bad Wolf Bay. The people had become her family and, despite their reluctance, helped her build a dimension cannon to get her back to the Doctor. A small shard of hope remained in her heart. Maybe she could do it again. Maybe she could travel across the dimensions and find her Doctor again. She flashed her badge to the man at the front desk and proceeded to the elevator. She pressed the button for the tenth floor where she was usually stationed. Research, development, and alien interactions floor. Rose wasn't much a researcher, or a mechanic for that matter, but she was useful when alien problems arose. She was the most familiar with how to deal with alien problems.

Her and Mickey had spent a lot of time building up Torchwood, and teaching them about all their encounters with aliens and how to deal with them in exchange for the dimension cannon. Pete, being the new temporarily elected head of Torchwood, tried to stop her, but no one could convince Rose it wasn't a good idea. So instead they put her to work for them. As the doors for the elevator opened a frantic scientist rushed in. He stopped, putting his hand on the door to hold it open, and stared at her. "Rose?" he asked, a look of confusion crossing his face. "What are you doing here? I thought you were back with the Doctor." Rose kept her eyes down and pushed past him mumbling, "There were complications".

She continued down the hallway to the area where her team worked. It was an open room with tables everywhere. Each table was piled high with alien tech to be evaluated by the teams of scientists. Rose would supervise, and give input when needed, on certain devices. Her time with the Doctor had left her with all sorts of knowledge on how the tech of different species worked. What she was most good at, though, was being a diplomat with the other races that would come to the earth. This world was much more familiar with alien visits then her home world had been. There had mostly been peace while she was here in this parallel dimension, but a few times they had had to fight against invaders. In those moments Rose sorely missed the Doctor. She missed the way he seemed to be able to calm storms of chaos and fighting. She missed the way his face would light up when he had a solution to a particularly frustrating problem.

Rose realized people were staring at her as she stood frozen in the entrance way of the tech room. Rose mentally shook away the painful memories, and walked over to a particularly chubby scientist who was bent over the table examining some type of ray gun he had managed to acquire.

"Hey Charley," She said smiling at him as he looked up, startled. "Rose?" he said in shock studying her like she was a ghost. "I thought we had sent you back to your world," he continued. Rose ignored his words and instead asked "Is the dimension cannon still working?" Charley shifted uncomfortably on the cushioned stool he was sitting on. "Pete had us destroy it after you left," he mumbled. "He said it was to dangerous and that it would destroy our world if it was ever to be used again." Anger surged through Rose. What gave him the right to decide something like that? "You can build another one though right?" she yelled slamming her hand down on the desk with a bit more force then she had meant, making the pudgy little man jump.

Charley was sweating now as he looked around the room for help. "All the blueprints and information on it was destroyed too," he replied, his voice quavering as he spoke. A wave of emotions threatened to crush Rose as she stood, fists clenched glaring at the man. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Rose I think you should leave," a voice said. Rose wasn't listening anymore though. The hope that had filled her heart when she had woken up that morning was gone now. She had lost him. Her Doctor wasn't coming back for her, and she had broken her promise to stay with him forever. Rose barely paid attention as she was escorted out of Torchwood and back to her car. She climbed in, started the car, and drove back to her parents home. She felt numb as she exited the car and walked into the house. No one said a word as she entered. They were familiar with this "Rose". This was the Rose from Bad Wolf Bay all those years ago. This was the Rose the Doctor had left behind.

Rose climbed to stairs slowly, to exhausted and numb to confront Pete, and went to her room, shutting the door behind her.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor sat up in bed blinking his eyes in confusion. The room was dark and quiet. He wondered how long he had slept this time. Frustration pricked his heart. This regeneration was taking way to long in his half human body. He stood slowly and stretched. His body was no longer screaming at him in protest as he did so, and that pleased him. A bit of gold laced regeneration energy escaped his mouth as he yawned. He wandered out of his room and into the hall. Everything was quiet. He assumed the Tyler family was asleep. This came as a bit of a relief to him. The Doctor knew his presence here hadn't been a very comfortable one, especially for Rose. Rose. He wondered how she was doing. He stood still listening for any signs that she was awake. He heard none, and decided, against his better judgement, that he would peak into her room. He crept down the hallway to her room. The bedroom door was cracked slightly, but no light spilled out. As gently as he could he pushed the door open and peaked inside. Rose was in her bed. Her slow breathing suggested she was asleep so he walked to her bed side and sat down. She didn't stir. Rose wasn't a light sleeper. He had visited her room many times in the TARDIS while she was asleep. Sometimes he would only stay for a few moments, and others he would allow himself to linger as he studied her peaceful face. She looked so young and helpless when she slept. He had never allowed himself to say the things that he knew she would like to hear though. He never wanted to complicate their relationship. He had long since forbade himself from falling in love with those he brought with him in the TARDIS.

Now, though, as he sat beside her he spoke the words he should have so long ago. His voice was no more then a whisper, and it shook as he spoke.

"Rose Tyler, from the first time I saw you I knew you. I don't know how, but I did. I wanted to take you with me so bad. When you came with me I was thrilled." his voice cracked as he tried to choke back tears that were welling up. Stupid human emotions he cursed mentally. He took a deep, steadying, breath and continued. "During my ninth regeneration I tried so hard not to fall in love with you, but when I regenerated everything changed. I couldn't deny my feelings anymore, so I resigned myself to keeping my mouth shut, assuming you knew how I felt about you. T-there were so many times when I wanted to tell you how I felt. When we were trapped on that space station I almost did, but I was a coward. I'm so sorry Rose," he said quietly. He couldn't go on. Tears streamed down his face as the memories swirled behind his closed eye lids.

"Doctor," Rose said sitting up in bed. She hadn't been sleeping when he had crept into her room, and when he had begun to talk, she listened. The Doctor jumped as she sat up. The fear of her rejecting him, again, gripped his heart. Rose looked him in the eyes, those impossibly old eyes. She could see the pain, and longing in them as he held her gaze. His eyes begged for forgiveness. His words were so true, and sincere.

"Doctor," Rose said again, her eyes welling up with tears as she saw him for the first time. This man. He was her Doctor. Rose tentatively reached her hand up and touched his face. He remained frozen under her touch, afraid that the slightest movement would scare Rose away forever. Suddenly Rose flung her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shirt collar. She began sobbing, her tears flowing fast onto his wrinkled pajamas.

The Doctor slowly wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly as his own tears fell. Rose let the pain and anger she had been feeling flow out of her in the form of hot tears. She knew that there would always be a place for her Time Lord Doctor in her heart, but this Doctor was him too, and maybe, just maybe she could love him too. The Doctor, unaware of the emotions running through Roses head, sat quietly holding her. Somewhere in the early hours of the morning she had stopped crying, and had fallen asleep still cradled in his arms, and so he stayed like that. Holding her through the night, not knowing what morning would bring for them. For now though, he thought, he had his Rose Tyler back.


	3. Chapter 3: A Little More Human

Chapter 3: A Little More Human

The sunlight streamed through the pink curtains in Rose's room. She blinked and stirred trying to focus here gaze on the room around her through the sun. She glanced at the clock sitting on her night stand.

"11:30," she mumbled beginning to sit up.

She stiffened as she realized she wasn't alone. The Doctor was still asleep leaning against the frame of her bed. His arms were wrapped around her, and his chin rested on his chest. Rose relaxed as she looked at his sleeping face. She had rarely seen the Time Lord sleeping during any of their travels, and took a moment to examine his face. He looked younger, less haunted by his past, and even a little relaxed. She gently removed his arms from around her, and got off the bed. She decided to leave him sleeping.

Rose walked downstairs pondering how she wanted to approach her relationship with the new, new, new Doctor. She had come to the conclusion that she couldn't just jump into a relationship with him. She trusted him, she really did, but she still didn't know that much about him. How much of him was the Doctor, her Doctor? Was he different in any way from the full Time Lord? All these questions swirled through her mind as she entered the kitchen.

Jackie greeted her enthusiastically as she scooped up another spoonful of baby food and put it up to Tony's lips. She was glad to see her daughter looking relaxed, and rested.

"Rose good to see you up. I made eggs, toast, and sausage if your hungry."

Rose moved to sit down at the island in the middle of their fancy kitchen. Sometimes Rose missed the simpler days when they lived in there little flat at the Powell Estates. The lavish parities, and endless money unnerved her. She pushed her thoughts of her old home aside as her mom placed a plate piled high with food in front of her and them went to back to Tony.

"Where's the Doctor"? Jackie asked cheerfully as she tried to spoon another bite of baby food into Tony's mouth. The little boy fussed, and waved his tiny arms in an attempt to fend off his mother. Rose, however, was stuffing her face. She had not realized how hungry she had been.

"He's still asleep upstairs," she replied trying to seem as nonchalant as possible. She didn't want her mom to know that he had fallen asleep in her room. Thankfully Jackie didn't ask anymore questions, and instead said, "Well I'll keep a plate warm for him till he wakes up."

Rose finished her food quickly, and made her way back upstairs to her room. The Doctor was still slumped against her bed frame, fast asleep. As quietly as she could Rose opened her dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans, a blue shirt, and under garments. She ran to the bathroom and shut the door before stripping down and turning the shower on. The warm water felt relaxing as it washed over her in a light drizzle. It was the first real shower she'd had since she had gotten back to the parallel world, considering she had barely showered before rushing off to Torchwood a few days before, and she savored the feeling of truly being clean again.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor woke with a start from his dream muddled sleep. He swung his arms wildly trying to fend off the invisible phantoms that plagued his dreams until he finally grasped that he was safe, and back in reality. He breathed heavily trying to clear his head. The dreams must be a side effect of the regeneration he thought, stretching his weary limbs. The dream was already starting to fade from his memory. Finally when he had calmed himself he decided to get up. He groaned as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, his sore body screaming in protest.

"Doctor?"

The Doctor looked towards the voice, fear that Rose had seen his outburst sweeping over him.

"Rose…" he said giving her a small smile, "Good morning."

"Morning," Rose replied giving him a weary look. "I was just wondering if you wanted to go shopping to get some clothes…. since your going to be staying.." Rose's voice trailed off and she stood there rocking back and forth, and shifting her gaze from the ground to him.

"Oh lovely. I would love to," the Doctor replied quickly standing up and walking towards Rose. "Allons-y!" he said as he began walking out of the room, and down the hallway to the stairs.

Rose trailed slowly behind watching him carefully. The Doctor noticed she wasn't following and stopped in the middle of the hall.

"Something wrong Rose?" he asked innocently.

"I could ask you the same thing," Rose mumbled giving him a queer look.

"Nope. I'm fantastic," the Doctor replied beaming at her.

Rose flinched as she recognized his previous incarnations favorite catch phrase. The Doctor didn't seem to notice his mistake, and instead turned back around and began walking again.

"Doctor," Rose called.

"Yes Rose Tyler," the Doctor responded stopping again and turning to her.

"Maybe before we go anywhere you should get something beside pajama's on."

He smiled sheepishly as he realized he was still in the flannel pajama's Pete had lent him.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

After a shower, change of clothes, and breakfast the Doctor and Rose drove into London to do some shopping. The Doctor sat in the passenger seat fidgeting uncomfortably at the unfamiliarity of the whole situation. The only thing that kept him seated in the car was the sight of Rose relaxed in the drivers seat as she maneuvered the car down the streets. Her beautiful blonde hair brushed her shoulders, and her finger tapped the steering wheel to the beat of some pop song he didn't recognize playing on the radio.

"Do you want to get more suits?" she asked glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

She had noticed him staring at her. The expression on his face made her heart skip a beat. He had only looked at her like that a few other times since that fateful christmas day when their brand new relationship had began.

"Hmm," he said shaking his head slightly and turning to look out the window to hide his embarrassment. "Oh yes. Suits would be nice."

"So…," Rose began. "How much do you remember of our travels?"

"I remember everything," he replied turning towards her, "For example I remember our first date we had chips. You paid."

Rose smiled at this.

"Yeah because your cheap," she said with a small chuckle. "What else do you remember?"

One the way to the store the Doctor recounted many different tales of their adventures, and even some of his adventures with Donna and Martha. The two laughed as they joked about past encounters with some of the more crazy aliens, and cursed all their close calls with some of the more dangerous creatures that haunted the stars. By the time the car was parked Rose's smile had reacher her eyes, and her face held hope again.

"Looks like I'm paying again cheapskate," Rose joked, nudging the Doctor in the arm as they walked into the department store.

He beamed at her in response.

"I don't have any money."

Rose just shook her head and grinned at him as they made their way to the mens section of the store.

"Is this the same store you used to work at over in your world?" he asked looking around at the familiar settings.

Rose nodded. "This one, fortunately, never got to meet you," she said with a smirk, referencing the first time the met.

The Doctor stuck out his bottom lip out, and gave her his best pout. Rose ignored it and moved over to a rack and began looking through the different shirts lined up on it. The Doctor followed suit and picked a nearby rack to begin digging through. He scowled at the lack of selection the store offered. It was nothing like the vast closets of the T.A.R.D.I.S. He sighed as he picked up out a light blue button up shirt to examine. This would just be another of the many adjustments he would have to make to fit in to human life.

"Doctor what about this," Rose called.

The Doctor turned and saw she was holding a brown suit almost identical to his original one.

"Oh brilliant!" he exclaimed walking over to her to examine it more closely.

"You should try it on and make sure it fits," Rose said as she began rummaging through the clothes again.

The Doctor looked around till he spotted the changing rooms close by. He weaved his way through the crowds and ducked inside one of the changing rooms, shutting the door behind him. He removed the blue jacket and pants he was currently wearing, and slid into the ones Rose had found for him. They fit comfortably. The Doctor examined himself in the mirror. He thought the suit looked good on him, but he opened the door and ducked out to see if Rose would agree. She had moved on, and was now looking through shoes. In her hands were a pair of cream converse. The Doctor smiled to himself sadly. She was attempting to gather the components to his old outfit.

He walked casually over to her, catching her by surprise as he tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to face him her smile faltering for moment before fixing itself firmly on her lips again.

"Do you like it?"

"It's perfect," he replied turning to show off for her.

She laughed and handed him the pair of converse she was holding.

"How about these? I thought you might like a pair that matched your old ones."

The Doctor took them from her and squatted on the ground as he removed his red converse from his feet and slipping the cream ones on in their place.

"They're a size to small," he said removing them from his feet and handing them back to her.

Rose placed them back in the box they came from and grabbed the next size up.

"Here try these."

The Doctor slipped the new pair on and relished the familiar feeling of his favorite pair of shoes.

"Do you like them?" Rose asked tentatively. "I can find something else if you don't."

The Doctor shook his head.

"I love them," he sighed giving her an appreciative smile.

She smiled back and gathered the box for him to put them in. They continued to gather more clothes until Rose was satisfied the Doctor had enough clothes to last him for a few months. He had protested when she had presented him with several pairs of regular tee-shirt, but she had insisted he couldn't just go running around in the same two suits everyday.

"I still don't see why I need so many pairs of shirts," he grumbled as they stood in the check out line.

"I already told you," she explained for the third time, "Normal people don't wear the same thing everyday."

The Doctor didn't argue, but continued to sulk as he collected the bags. Rose handed the cashier the money Pete had given her, and collected her receipt. The two headed back to the car. The Doctor desperately wished he had money so he could do something special for Rose. It had been so long since they had done something fun together. He made a mental note to talk to Pete Tyler about where he could get a job. They both rode home in silence thinking about the strange couple of days they had had.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When they got home there was an air of excitement. Jackie was talking with a group of people in the foyer when she spotted Rose and the Doctor standing by the doorway.

"Rose, honey you're just in time!"

Rose gave her a puzzled look.

"Just in time for what mum?"

"To help me plan the party," she exclaimed.

"Party?" Rose asked growing more confused at her mothers words.

"Yes party silly. Your father is throwing a party to celebrate the success of Torchwood."

"Oh…" Rose said dumbly.

Before she could say anything else Jackie grabbed her arm and whisked her away to talk with people who were, the Doctor could only guess, party planners. Rose gave him an apologetic look before vanishing into the crowed of people. The Doctor shrugged to himself, and took the bags of clothes upstairs to the room the Tyler's had given him. He set the bags down, and sat down on the floor with his back against the bed. The exhaustion of being a human with a recently regenerated body took its tole on him. He felt his eyes grow heavy until they finally closed, and he sank into a deep sleep.

_Hey guys! This is my first authors notes for this story! I__'__m so sorry it took so long to finish this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it, and I will try and be quicker in the future with chapter updates. I would really appreciate some feedback on the story so that I know what you guys would like me to improve on for future chapters._


	4. Chapter 4: Dreams of a Time Lord

**Hey guys! I****'****ve got a really long update because everyone has been so supportive of my story, and stuck with me through that horribly long hiatus between chapter 2 and 3. I hope you enjoy it, and don****'****t forget to leave a review (They really help :) ) **

Chapter 4:

"Today you stand before the Grand Council of Gallifrey to be charged for your crimes."

The Doctor blocked out the noise of the booming voice. He didn't want to hear it. Didn't need to hear it. He had done nothing wrong. Instead he focused on the taste of blood in his mouth, and the pain that was erupting all over his body. They had caught him, and given him a good beating before dragging him before the council. Several more beatings had followed after he had refused to answer their questions. However, he had gotten off pretty light. The man next to him lay on his side in a pool of blood. His wild brown hair was sticky with the dark liquid, and his face was swollen from several savage lacerations. It was the face of his full Time Lord twin.

"You will now be read your list of crimes, and I would like to remind you that all rights as a Gallifreyan citizen have been revoked, and the laws of Gallifrey no longer protect you."

A deep voice began drawling on about the full Time Lord Doctors crimes for meddling with time, falling in love with a human, and creating a meta crisis clone. The Doctor burned with anger at this. They talked about him as if he were a Dalek.

"-As punishment for your crimes you, and the meta crisis, will be sentenced to death."

Fear gripped the Doctors human heart as two big gallifreyan guards grabbed him. He kicked out hoping to make contact with one of them, so they would release him from their grip.

"No you can't kill me!" he screamed. "I didn't choose to be this way!"

The Council members eyed him coldly. One of the older members slammed his hand down on the table and screeched "You are an abomination to us all. You are half human filth who cannot control the laws of time and you will be exterminated!"

Another pair of guards grabbed the full Time Lord Doctor and held him up on his knees. He raised his head slowly as a man brandishing a large club stepped behind him. The Time Lord closed his eyes and a solitary tear made its way down his bloodstained cheek.

"Rose."

A scream escaped The Doctors mouth as he watched the club come down on the Time Lord, and then there was blood.

Lots of blood.

It rolled across the floor in hot, sticky waves, soaking his tattered paint legs. He felt bile rising to his throat, and he chocked it back. The Doctor heard a thud as the guards dropped the lifeless body to the ground, and moved away. He took a tentative look through half closed eyes. Golden light began washing over his Time Lord twin, but it still didn't mask the gore that was the other Doctor. Minutes ticked by as he watched his duplicate change. His stiff spiky hair became long and floppy, and his face became younger. A gasp erupted from the him as the golden light dispersed. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, and raised his blood soaked head to look at his human twin. The Time Lord gave him a sorrowful look, his green eyes full of pain. He opened his mouth to call out to him, but no words came. Instead there was a sick crack as the guard slammed his club down over the human Doctor, and a strangled scream escaped his mouth.

Then there was darkness….

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor sat up in bed his heart beating rapidly. He struggled to suck in air for his burning lungs. He looked around wildly for a way to escape. Then it hit him.

"A dream," he mumbled to himself. "It was all a dream."

He threw the sheets off, and got out of bed. He needed to move around and shake off the feeling of that dream. The hallways were quiet with patches of moonlight throwing dark shadows in all directions. He wandered down the shadowy corridor till he reached the door to Roses room. He thought about waking her and telling her about his dream, but he kept walking till he reached the bathroom. He locked the door and stripped out of his pajama's, and turned the water on. Steam began to fill the bathroom and fog up the mirrors. He wiped away the steam, and looked at himself in the mirror. Exhaustion. That's all he could see reflected in his eyes. An exhausted human who didn't look very brilliant. How could Rose possibly love him over his Time Lord self? The voices of all the Time Lord councilors seemed to reverberate through his skull making it ache.

The shower water was hot on his sensitive skin, but he didn't dare turn it down. Scalding, or not, it took his mind off of the dream. By the time he actually finished his skin was an angry red, and the dream was all but lost to the more current pain. The Doctor grabbed a fluffy pink towel, the staple color of the Tyler family, and gently patted his burning skin till it was dry. His hair was next. He took the towel to it then rummaged around in the cabinets till he found a suitable hair product that he could only assume belonged to Pete. He ran the product through his hair till it was back to it's glorious gravity defying state. With the pink towel tied firmly around his waist he wandered back down the hall to his room, and began digging through the shopping bags to find something suitable to wear.

The suit was his first choice, but he decided it would probably make Rose happier if he wore one of the shirts and jeans she had picked out for him. He picked out a plain black tee-shirt with 'for the love of science' scrolled across the front in white letters. There was a picture of a molecular structure under the lettering, which elicited a smirk from him. Rose was clever, very clever. He pulled the shirt over his head, and slipped into a pair of boxers that were covered in planets, his idea of course. Next came jeans. He held the denim fabric in his hands and puzzled over his situation. The Doctor in jeans.

No.

He shook his head pushing away that though. The human Doctor in jeans, with Rose Tyler. That sounded much better. He finished dressing, and even put on a pair of black trainers. Once he was dressed he looked himself over in the mirror that sat in the corner of the room. He looked different, but not bad different, just… different. He didn't feel like much of a Time Lord anymore, but he still fostered a tiny spark of hope that working somewhere like Torchwood would make him feel more like himself. He would have to talk to Pete about a possible job opening of some kind. He looked at the clock. It was only three-eighteen in the morning. Approximately five hours and forty-two minutes till Rose's alarm would go off, and she would wake up. Now he just had to find something to do until she woke up…

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When Roses alarm finally went off the Doctor let out an exasperated sigh as he pulled himself of the ground in front of her door. He had almost run out of things to do and was on the verge of dismantling the toaster to make a new sonic screwdriver. The dream had slowly crept back into the forefront of his mind, and he struggled to push it away as he rocked back and forth in front of Rose's door waiting for her to emerge. She jumped back in surprise as she bumped into him. She squinted at him still not fully awake.

"Wha- What are you doing up so early," she mumbled, stifling a yawn.

"Well," the Doctor began, drawing out the e sound like he always did. "Didn't want to waste a second of the daylight on this strange parallel world so I though I would get up and search the internet for information regarding this planets history, play a game of chess with myself, read the entire Harry Potter series. Oh! Rose the Harry Potter books here are so much different than the ones in your world. Well I say your world, but I suppose this is your world now… anyways! How about some breakfast? I can make something delicious. I'm a brilliant cook. Did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally created the crape?"

Rose stood in her doorway waiting for him to take a breath, or keel over from lack of oxygen. A few minutes later after two or three, Rose was barely listening, of his stories about creating something or another by accident he finally stopped for air, and Rose seized the opportunity to speak.

"Doctor I need to take a shower, but I would love some breakfast, so if you'll give me thirty minutes I'll be down and we can eat." She didn't wait for a response and instead pushed past him to the bathroom.

The Doctor stood there staring after her his mouth still agape, ready to spout more minutia. His heart sank as he heard the bathroom door shut and lock. Maybe she didn't find him as interesting as his full Time Lord self. After all he never remembered her cutting him off like that before. She had agreed to his offer of breakfast though, and with that he ran down the stairs into the kitchen to begin preparing the best breakfast Rose Tyler had ever eaten.

When Rose finally made her way downstairs, dressed and awake, she was shocked at what she saw. The kitchen was a mess, but more importantly the table was pilled high with pancakes, eggs, bacon, crapes, and what Rose could only describe as the fanciest waffles in the entirety of London. Her mum was already awake and seated at the table helping herself, and Tony, to the mountain of food. The Doctor, with flour smudges on his face, and a pink apron fastened to him, stood beaming at her.

"Good Morning," he sang as he attempted to clean up the mess he had made. "Help yourself to anything. I made everything homemade, well…. except for the syrup. Aren't any maple tree's here."

"It smells delicious," Rose exclaimed, breathing in the heavenly smell of breakfast.

"It tastes delicious too," Jackie added spooning another bite of eggs into Tony's mouth before helping herself to another pancake.

Rose took a seat at the table and began heaping food onto her plate. The Doctor abandoned his mess, and sat down at the table to join her. Pete came down a few minutes later, spotting the mess. He tried to protest, but Jackie just shushed him, and told him to grab a plate. Pretty soon the mansion staff, under invitation from the Doctor, and the whole Tyler family were happily gorging themselves on delectable foods.

"D'is is fantastic," Rose mumbled around the last remaining mouthful of waffles. She had managed to down about four before the time caught up with her.

The Doctor gave her his sunniest smile, his mouthful of bacon and eggs. Rose felt heat rising to her face, and she stood with her empty plate and walked to the sink. She didn't want anyone see the blush that was slowly coloring her cheeks.

"I see your wearing the clothes I picked out for you," Rose said cheerfully keeping her back to him as she washed her plate. "They look good on you. Different, but good."

Rose knew that was a modest compliment. The truth was the tee-shirt and jeans fit him perfectly, and made him look even more attractive then the suit and tie. She wasn't about to say so, though. She promised herself she wouldn't jump into a relationship with him till she knew it was right. All of her rationalizing didn't seem to stop the fluttering in her chest caused by his smile.

"Rose, hunny, are you almost ready to go," Jackie called from the entryway.

"Go?" the Doctor questioned, standing up, plate in hand, and walking over to stand by her at the sink.

"Yeah Mum and I are going shopping for clothes, and talking to a party planner today."

"Oh," he breathed, "Well can I come."

Rose tried not to look him in the eye. She knew he would be wearing that puppy dog expression, his big brown eyes full of hope. He only used this face when he really wanted something from her.

"N-no Mum says it's a girls day," Rose stammered placing her half washed dish in the sink, and walking towards the front door. "I'm sorry it was Mums idea."

"It's ok Rose. I'll just stay here with Pete and maybe look for a job-."

"Dad's taking Tony to his pediatric appointment," Rose said quickly. "Look i'm sorry Doctor. I'll be home later tonight than maybe we can do something."

The Doctors shoulders slumped in defeat, and he resigned with an "Ok."

He remained in the kitchen as the Tyler family filtered out the house. Only the staff remained, floating around the mansion like ghosts as they started on their daily tasks. The Doctor went to work scrubbing the kitchen clean in an attempt to keep his mind off of the dream, and the hollow feeling that was burrowing its way into his human heart.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The next few days Rose was in and out of the house. She had never followed up on her promise to go out and do something, thus the Doctor was trapped in the Tyler mansion. On top of the business for the party, Torchwood had finally allowed Rose to go back to work, and she was ecstatic. The Doctor was happy to see her bounce down the stairs each morning ready for work, but the loneliness was beginning to consume him, and the dreams had become more vivid in her absence.

In some of them the Time Lord Doctor had returned to take Rose away from him, and deeming him unworthy of loving their pink and yellow human. In others he was being sentenced to death by the council of Time Lords, but the worse ones were the ones where Rose left him because he wasn't 'her' Doctor. He tried to ignore the dreams, but even with all of his half Time Lord rationalization he couldn't shake them from his mind. Ever day he tried to catch Rose before she left the house, but she always brushed him off with a promise that they would talk as soon as things settled down.

A full week and a half of this went by before the Doctor finally decided he was too bored to possibly spend another day trapped inside. He waited for the Tyler's to leave the house like usual before he changed into his pinstriped suit, cream trainers, and long brown coat. Today he was going out, and no one, not even Rose Tyler was going to stop him.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor wandered down another unfamiliar London street as he munched on some chips he had picked up from a local vendor. Rose would have loved them, and he had made himself a mental note to bring her here when she had the time. Though this London was a lot like their home London he had figured out quite quickly that he didn't know it as well as he thought. He was certain though that there was a library in the area to which he could use to entertain himself for a few hours until Rose got off work. After a few wrong turns down some empty streets he finally found the library.

"Oh you beauty you!" he exclaimed giving a small leap of joy, and scattering chips all over the side walk.

He quickly ascended the small flight of steps in front of the building and dumped his chips in the trashcan as he walked in. The Doctor could hardly contain the large smile that was taking over his face as he beheld the many tall shelves filled with books. A lady at the front desk spotted him and ushered him over.

"Can I help you sir?" she asked grinning at him and twirling a lock of her long brown hair between her fingers. She was surprised to see a handsome man come into the library. Her usuals were children with their mothers in toe, and older gentleman looking for history books full of days since past.

"Um… no," the Doctor said his gaze trailing around the library. He hardly noticed that the girl behind the desk batting her eye lashes at him.

"Oh…, well let me know if you need any help finding anything," she said with a trace of disappointment.

The Doctor gave her a slight wave and walked away to immerse himself in books.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Rose pulled her keys from her purse and unlocked the front door. Torchwood had run her ragged with all their mountains of paperwork and all she had been able to think about was coming home, eating dinner, and taking a hot bath. Jackie greeted her as she entered the kitchen.

"Mary here has been telling me it's been unusually quite around here all day without the Doctor."

Rose gave her a puzzled look.

"What do you mean its been quiet without the Doctor?"

"Well since you took him to work with you today the staff haven't had to fight to keep him away from the appliances. Been a nice break she says."

A wave of panic began to sweep over Rose.

"Mum he didn't come with me to work. I haven't seen him since I left this morning."

"Oh…," Jackie breathed realization dawning on her face.

Rose ran out of the kitchen and began looking in all the rooms. He wasn't in any of them and with each empty one she searched more images of people in dark clothing kidnapping her Doctor implanted themselves in her mind.

"Someone must have found him," she sobbed when she finally returned to the kitchen, and fell into her mums waiting arms.

"Now, now Rose maybe he just went for a walk. You know how he is about wandering off when he's bored."

Rose sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve as she stood up.

"I'm gonna go ask around town and see if anyones seen him wandering about," she declared grabbing her keys off of the table and walking out the door before Jackie had time to respond.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Rose spent four hours walking up and down the streets she thought the Doctor might have wandered. She had even visited her old apartment in the Powell estate. It wasn't until an old man in a chip shop overheard her and mentioned he had met the man earlier in the day.

"Said he was looking for a library," the old man explained, squinting at the picture of her and the Doctor she was holding up.

Rose breathed a sigh of relief and thanked the old man before rushing out of the shop and down the street. She knew exactly where the library was.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor snapped away as he felt a sharp kick in his side. Several books slid off of him as he sat up off of the carpeted floor. He must have fallen asleep in the kids section at some point he thought looking around him. Rose gave an annoyed cough as she stood over him waiting for him to acknowledge her.

"Hello," he said grinning at her and pushing his glasses back in place.

Rose just stood there frowning at him, and resisting the urge to smack him for making her worry.

"Sorry must have fallen asleep," the Doctor mumbled apologetically. He lifted himself off the ground and began collecting the books off the floor. He turned back to Rose once he had gathered them all.

"Just give me a few minutes to put these back and we'll be off-."

Rose knocked the books from his arms and they scattered across the floor like pieces of broken glass. Before he could scold her she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the library and down the street to where she had parked her car. The Doctor slid into the passengers seat and prepped himself to give Rose a long lecture on the sanctity of books as she slid in the drivers seat. He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Rose began sobbing. Immediately he closed his mouth, deciding it was not the time for lectures on his part.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Rose screamed at him, "I thought you had been kidnapped, or killed!"

The Doctor hung his head and mumbled a soft apology. Rose just shook her head at him causing more tears to slide down her face. Neither of them uttered another word as she started the car and began driving back towards the Tyler home. When the Doctor opened the door jackie pulled him into a big hug, and began babbling about how he had given them quite the scare. The Doctor muttered more apologies, and watched out of the corner of his eye as Rose ascended the stairs without even glancing back at him.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~


	5. Chapter 5: Sorrow and Starlight

Chapter 5:

He knew he was dreaming, but he couldn't wake up. He never could seem to shake the shackles of his dreams no matter how bad they got, or how aware he was that it was all in his head. This dream was just a new addition to his many death sentences. This time his twin stood in front of him. He was not alone though. Behind him stood all of his past lives. They all stared at him with indifference.

"You are not a Time Lord," one spoke to his left. The Doctor turned his gaze to look at his fourth regeneration. He wore his long scarf and funny hat, but there was none of the usual mischievous laughter in his eyes as he said those words.

"You are not one of us," another spoke. It was his ninth regeneration this time. Despair filled his heart as more of his regenerations cried out against him.

"You must be exterminated," his doppelganger screamed about the rest.

The Doctor saw a glint in the corner of his eye before he felt red hot pain rip through his side. He jolted up in his bed breathing heavily and struggling to untangle the sheets from his body. He managed to throw them off and quickly leap from the bed to the middle of the room where he froze, clutching his side. The phantom pain paralyzed his feet to the floor as he tightened his grip around his waist and waited for it to pass. Relief came minutes later as the pain ebbed away. All that was left was a hollow sense of despair. He knew sleep was no longer an option.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Tyler family gathered excitedly at the bottom of the grand staircase for a family photo. Several party servers were already milling around with trays waiting for guests to show up. Rose stood, impatiently tapping her heeled foot, as her mother fussed with tony's tiny black bow tie and shifted him from hip to hip trying to decided which side would be more appropriate for the family photo.

"Mum come on!" Rose cried impatiently.

"Rose!" Jackie cried. "I don't see why your so eager to get this over with. Do you have somewhere to be?"

Rose ignored her moms questioning look and continued glaring at her. Jackie rolled her eyes and said, "Alright all in together now. Smile!" A couple blinding flashes later and Rose was free. She wandered out of the entrée way and up the stairs as the first ring of the doorbell sounded, announcing the arrival of one of her mum or dads exotic rich friends. She sighed knowing she only had a few moments to escape before her mom dragged her back downstairs to show her off to all of her party guests.

"Rose! Rose!" the Doctors muffled cries caught her by surprise as she passed his door.

"Yes Doctor?" she asked walking back to his door and pushing it open.

He was standing in front of the small mirror beside the dresser and eying himself oddly. A familiar black tux adorned his tall frame. An image of the first time the two of them had come to this parallel universe flashed through her mind. He has worn a tux then too for her mothers birthday party. Rose blushed as she recalled how handsome he had looked then, and how handsome he looked now in a tux. She quickly composed herself as she remembered her former anger at the him from the night before.

"Rose I can't seem to tie it," the Doctor said as he pulled the untied bow tie off from around his neck in frustration.

"Oh is that all?" Rose said. "Well then come here and let me help you."

The Doctor hung his head in embarrassment as Rose took the tie from his hands and placed it back around his neck. She quickly tied it and moved away. He sheepishly smiled at her. Rose softened as she watched him turn back and admire himself in the mirror. She opened her mouth to apologize for the night before but before she could say anything the Doctor caught her eye and blurted out, "Well guess we should join the party don't ya think Rose?" Rose sighed and nodded.

Rose hung back warily as they approached the stairs. Party noises could already be heard drifting up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" the Doctor questioned as he observed Rose's eyebrows knit together in displeasure.

"Oh nothing," she said pausing, "I just don't really enjoy mom's lavish parties that's all."

"But Rose there's going to be dancing," he replied cocking an eyebrow at her. "You know how good at dancing I am."

This elicited a grin from Rose. The Doctor held out his arm and she took it without a moments hesitation. Apologies would have to wait. For now they had a party to attend.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor sat at a small table on the patio as he watched Rose who was in conversation with two young men around her age. The table was adorned with a beautiful golden table cloth, and an elegant candle in a glass jar. Blue flower petals were scattered across the tables surface to accent the gold, but the Doctor, who usually could appreciate any detail put into a party, didn't care about any of it. He was busy grinding one of the petals between a thumb and forefinger as he watched one of the men lead Rose away to dance on the open floor beneath the luminescent party lights.

Not wanting to sit there and agonize anymore the Doctor stood and made his way into the house. He wandered through several crowded rooms picking up snippets of juicy gossip along the way till he finally made it to the drink table. Just as he was about to retrieve a glass with some kind of sparkling gold liquid; Jackie caught him by the shoulder.

"Can you watch Tony, darling? Thanks!"

Before he had a chance to reply she thrust the little ginger haired boy into his arms and melted back into the crowed. Tony stared up at him, his little face mirroring the shock he knew must be filling his own face.

He sighed and began talking to Tony as he made his way back outside. "You know your mum is crazy!" Tony cooed in response as if to agree. "When I first met her she slapped me. Slapped me right across the face! First time in 900 years of living that i've ever been slapped by someones mother."

As they stood out on the first floor balcony that over looked the party below; the Doctor went on to tell the little boy a number of his favorite adventures from the time when he and Rose had traveled the stars together. Soft music floated up, and just for a second he became lost in the past, and in the stars above. Just for a second he forgot about Rose, his dreams, and his overwhelming new life as a half human…

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Rose sighed in relief. She had finally managed to break away from the crowd of men who had been pestering her all evening. Every single one of them would argue over who would dance with her next until finally one of them would simply grab her by the arm and escort her to the dance floor. It was only made more uncomfortable by the fact that while she was dancing with one man the rest of the group would shoot him cold glares till the dance was over, and they could begin arguing all over again. Rose had longer for the Doctor to intervene, but he had disappeared thirty minutes into the festivities.

She sought him now as she pushed her way, not to politely, through the crowed of lingering guests. It was around midnight, and the party grander was fading quickly. Most of the laughing had died down, and been replaces with hushed conversations. It wouldn't be long until the last of the guests made their way back to their cars. Rose finally found him on the balcony holding a fast asleep Tony in his arms as he gazed up at the stars. She hung back in the doorway suddenly afraid to approach him. The Doctor began talking again, and she jumped a little till she realized he wasn't talking to her.

"You know Tony theres a great big universe right above our head with numerous amounts of people. Not just people people, but all sorts of species, and here you are. A tiny little human living on this parallel earth, that's what you are, and when you grow up you can be anything you want. You could be one of the greatest humans that ever lived. You know how I know that? Because I've never met a human that wasn't."

Rose reached up and wiped a tear off her cheek. When had she started crying? She wasn't sure, but as she listened she grew more ashamed that she had doubted him. He was truly the Doctor. Her Doctor, and he would always be her Doctor.

"Sweetie?" Jackie came to stand behind her as she continued to watch the Doctor rock Tony in his arms. "I think it's time that you two made up. For good."

Without saying another word Jackie walked out onto the balcony, and thanked the Doctor as she took Tony out of his arms before going back inside. Rose caught his eye and could have sworn she saw a flicker of hope there. It quickly died as she approached, and he turned his back on her.

"Um… Doctor? I-I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you," she began.

"It's alright Rose Tyler," he replied curtly.

Rose was taken aback by his tone. She studied his face trying to gather what might be troubling him. Dark circles had formed around his eyes, and his usual smiling face was replaced with a bitter frown. How had she not noticed before? More guilt washed over her as she realized she had been to busy wrapped up in her own feelings to notice that he was suffering too.

"Doctor is something wrong-"

"Nothing's wrong," he said sharply turning to glare at her.

She flinched. Sorrow replaced the anger in his brown eyes as he realized how he had spoken to her.

"I… just can't talk right now Rose," he finished before turning away from her and walking back inside without another word.

She remained on the balcony as more tears slid down her cheeks. Her pain of rejection was numbed only by the fact that something was wrong with her Doctor. Something was hurting him, and she couldn't give up on him again. This time she would help. She resolved to try again tomorrow. Wiping away the rest of her tears, she straightened her dress and went back inside.


	6. Chapter 6: Resolve

Chapter 6:

The sound of muffled steps drifted softly through the Doctor's open door signaling to him that Pete Tyler was awake. Excitement surged through him as he exited his room and followed the sound downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Mr. Tyler?" he said entering the kitchen and spotting the ginger haired man bent over a coffee maker.

"Oh… morning Doctor," Pete replied, "You know you can just call me Pete."

"Right Pete," the Doctor mumbled awkwardly. "Anyways I was wondering if I might come with you to Torchwood today." Pete remained silent as he finished making himself a cup of coffee. The Doctor shifted impatiently back and forth on his feet as he waited for an answer.

"Mmmm… I suppose that would be fine. I assume this is so you can work on some kind of project?" Pete inquired. The Doctor nodded. "That's fine. We have plenty of equipment you can use at the Torchwood Institute."

The Doctor thanked him and walked up the stairs to retrieve his blue suit coat. He hadn't worn the coat since the day he had been "born". The fabric felt familiar and comforting as he picked it up and rubbed it between his fingers. He put the jacket on and slid his hands into the pockets. The left one brushed something round and rough. Locking his fingers around it, he brought the object out of his pocket up and held it up to his face. He froze as his gaze locked onto it.

"T-this is… a chunk of… the TARDIS," he breathed. He had to restrain himself from shouting for joy at the top of his lungs and waking the rest of the house. "But how did it get here?" he pondered aloud. A huge grin overtook his face as he placed the TARDIS chunk back in his pocket and joined Pete downstairs leaving his musings for later.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor rummaged through a bin containing several scrap materials. He picked out a couple small chunks of metal and placed them in a bucket at his feet. Pete had given him full access to the mechanics floor of Torchwood where all of the scrap material and tools were kept. After sifting through a few more bins the Doctor picked up the bucket and made his way back to a bench where he was organizing all of the materials. He scanned over his finds and wondered if it would be enough to make a sonic screwdriver, or at least a temporary one until he could fully form the TARDIS and go somewhere to obtain the proper materials. For now all he could do was use what he had and hope it worked.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It was ten at night by the time the Doctor and Pete left Torchwood and arrived back home. Little progress on the sonic had been made, and he was already beginning to feel the creeping sense of failure over take him. The Doctor climbed the stairs and was about to retreat to his room when Rose walked out of her room and up to him.

"Hey, where have you been?" she asked smiling.

"Torchwood," he replied not wanting to give anymore away. He didn't want Rose to know what he had been working on. She might think he could build a new sonic… and if he failed she would be disappointed in him.

"Oh… well I was thinking we could start getting you established here tomorrow and maybe get you into the government system," she said, but she could tell the Doctor wasn't listening. Rose sighed and whispered,"I.. I wish you would tell me whats wrong."

"Its none of your concern," the Doctor said. He gave her his most reassuring smile before turning away from her and walking back to his room.

He shut the door and leaned against it. Roses gaze seemed to burn through the small barrier, and he felt guilt coursing through his veins. On the beach he had promised her his life. A life for them to spend together, but he couldn't do that now. Not unless he could truly become the Doctor and rid himself of the nightmares that seemed to haunt his every step. Sure she had forgiven and accepted him, but that wasn't good enough. He wanted her to smile again like she did when he took her to a brand new planet. He wanted her eyes to shine whenever she looked at him just like they had so long ago. Most of all, though, he wanted to make up for that time he had left her on the beach by herself. He never wanted his Rose to look as sad as she had in those pictures that hung around the Tyler house like painful whispers from the past. Till the time that he could become the Doctor again he had to stay away from her. He had to keep his fears bottled up so that Rose wouldn't be hurt by them too. The Doctor made up his mind that he would stay at Torchwood until the sonic was finished…

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Rose sat on the stairs with her head resting on her knees. She fought exhaustion as she waited for her father to come home. She desperately hoped that maybe this time the Doctor had decided to come with him. It had been three nights since she had last seen him. Her head shot up as she heard the lock click and the door open. Pete Tyler stepped in, and to Rose's dismay, shut the door behind him.

"He's still there isn't he?" Rose asked fighting to keep the quiver out of her voice.

Pete nodded, giving his daughter a sad smile, and continued upstairs. Rose remained sitting on the stairs. She fought back tears of despair. The Doctor had stayed locked in a room at Torchwood making it impossible for Rose to talk to him on her lunch breaks at work, and he refused to come home at nights. He was driving himself into the ground and she knew it. Without thinking she stood and marched into the kitchen grabbing the second set of keys to the car from their hanging place, and exiting the house.

It only took her fifteen minutes to drive down to the Torchwood building, but as she stepped onto the elevator that would take her to the Doctor all her courage seemed to drain out of her. She couldn't stop fidgeting as she waited for the elevator to reach its destination. Would he let her in? Or would he push her even farther away? A soft ping sounded and the elevator doors slid open. Rose slowly walked through the fist open room filled with worktables and blue prints. It was dark, but the large windows allowed just enough moonlight to seep in for Rose to make her way through. Everyone had gone home for the night leaving an eerie silence behind.

CRASH!

Rose jumped as the sound of metal hitting the floor reverberated around the empty room. She quickened her pace as she realized the sound was probably coming from another room. She spotted the light flooding out of an open doorway and stopped a few feet away. A trickle of fear shot through her, and all of her doubts about coming here echoed through her mind. Another loud crash sounded was followed by, what Rose assumed to be, gallifreyan curse words. Rose reached the door frame and peered around it. The Doctor stood in the middle of the room. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and his tie dangled loosely around his neck. Even his hair was messier than normal Rose noted. He was breathing heavily and a dark frown overshadowed his face. As for the room around him… there were several desks that had been knocked over, and scraps of metal littered the floor. Rose continued to watch, frozen in place, as the Doctor retrieved another large chunk of scrap metal near his feet and threw it against the wall in front of him. Several more smashed into the wall, and gallifreyan words accompanied them on their trip. At this moment she could truly see why he was called the on coming storm. Not wanting to see anymore; Rose rushed through the doorway.

"Doctor please stop," she cried her voice shaking from fear and sorrow. The Doctors gaze snapped to her, and a look of utter defeat filled his face. He stepped back and fell with his back against the wall into a slumped over sitting position. Rose approached him and sat cross-legged in front of him trying to hide her shaking.

"I'm a fake," he whispered not wanting to meet her eyes. "I can't give you the stars Rose." A few lone tears slid down his stubbly cheeks. He flinched slightly as Rose brought her hand up and gently wiped the tears from his face. He raised his own hand to rest over hers, holding it in place.

"I don't want the stars you daft alien," she said softly. "All I've ever wanted was you, my Doctor."

The Doctor raised his head and their eyes met. Before he could stop himself the words came tumbling out, "But Rose I'm a fake. I'm not him, and in all my nightmare my regenerations try and kill me. They know I wasn't supposed to exist. They are trying to correct the problem… and maybe they are right. I can't even build a sonic screwdriver. I'm not the Doctor, Rose."

Understanding lit Rose's face and she wrapped the now sobbing man in a tight hug. Finally the truth behind the Doctors sleepless nights and his constant avoidance of her had come out. "You listen to me," she began, "I don't care what you think your silly dreams are trying to tell you. You are not a mistake. You saved the universe from the Dalek. You told me you loved me. You stayed with me here in this miserable parallel universe. You didn't give up on me when I didn't believe in you. I want this to work Doctor, but I need you to believe in yourself again."

The sobs faded, replaced by quiet tears, until finally he stilled altogether. Pulling away from the embrace their eyes met. No more words were spoken, but none needed to be. They knew they were damaged beings, and as their lips met they knew that only time would tell all. Only time would heal all. For now it was the Doctor and Rose as it should be. He kissed her, letting go of all of the fear and regret bottled in him, and she welcomed the kiss. They let time slip by enjoying the feel of their lips pressed together. Finally, much to the Doctors disappointment Rose pulled away.

"Will you come home now?" she asked her eyes filled with hope and love.

"Yes," he replied placing a light kiss on her forehead.

They stood and the Doctor glanced around the room sheepishly. "I'll clean it up."

Rose laughed and took his hand. "Come on you lets go."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The Doctor sat in a chair next to Roses bed, his head resting on the pink sheets while his hand gently held hers. She had long since fallen asleep. Her gentle, rhythmic breathing soothed him as he closed his eyes, and for the first time in weeks he slipped into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
